I’m sure in most every situation, there is a potential for a bully to be present. It can be at work, home, school, or online. It can be that one person who doesn’t even think they’re being a bully because they don’t use force or fists to get their way, but they use a smile and dulcet tones to tinkle their way to what they want. But what do you do when there are bullies? They have such a power to corrupt your state of mind–they can disrupt the zen that you hope oozes out of your every orifices and pores.
I don’t know.
Sometimes, you have to leave. You just need physical distance between you and the person causing you grief. Sometimes, you need to talk to them–maybe with a mediator. Sometimes, you need to ignore them and chant ‘Just keep going on!’, until you can move onto a better situation in life. When I was doing yoga at a studio a couple of years ago, the instructor put us in this really uncomfortable pose. She said to us, ‘hold it, don’t come out of the pose’. She’s walking around, feet sticking to the floor, gently pushing us deeper into the pose, and reminding us not to frown and furrow our brows. A lot of us were trying not to groan with agony or distrust, or even shout, ‘WHY AREN’T YOU HOLDING THE POSE IF IT’S SO EASY’? Ahem. Just as it was getting unbearable, she said, ‘I know this pose has been uncomfortable. None of you came out the pose. You all embraced the discomfort. Maybe, when you are experiencing something uncomfortable in your daily life you can remember not to have a knee-jerk reaction, because none of you did here. That’s really great’.
Now, I will clarify, some situations warrant that you immediately remove yourself from them and/or from danger. Don’t try to embrace that discomfort. But, sometimes, people are just unhappy in their lives, so they try to make you unhappy, too. Sometimes, they are super lazy and unhelpful, and when they are confronted with doing the task they expect you to do, they are super nasty. Just remember, it’s not about you. You can walk away, take a deep breath, and reflect upon the good things in your life. They stew in the beds they’ve made. Of course, I imagine that a lot bullies could do with someone being nice to them. At one point or another, that will be your mantle, but you can’t do it for everyone.
Bullies are not fun. Try not to be a bully. Try not to channel your anger at someone else. It usually is not helpful to anyone or, least of all, yourself.
Sometimes, you have to stand your ground, too. You’ll know when you need to do that. And, sometimes, you just need to think of Hercule Poirot, and how he channels his little grey cells when we are, incredulously, faced with bullies.
Reading updates: I’ve finished The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer, rated 9 roses from The Six-Foot Bride out of 10. Just started The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas.
PhD Application updates: I’m working on the proposals, diligently. I hope to go work for a couple of solid hours on Tuesday in a Starbucks (yay capitalism and coffee culture).
Other updates: I’ve been successfully drinking 2L of water (and tea and coffee) per day. I had an allergic reaction to dairy the other day, and I’m still feeling the effects a bit.
Hope you’ve been so well. Xx
Heaps of Love,
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