pen-sieve ii

Press play to hear me read it aloud:

There is a cloud there, portentously
bearing the weight of my duller senses,
In lighter moods, they dance into shifting
shapes, reflecting the sun in pleasing ways,
we see the lightness of our hearts reflected
there, shaded hues that taste like the pith
and rind of a sweetly sour orange.

I am fragmented in these lighter moods,
flitting from focused intention to indiscernible
and unearthly domains. Arms and other limbs
grounded firmly in the earth, mind alighted
in cosmic swirls of astral belts and milky ways.
I am pulled apart endlessly, an ever-expanding
universe of remote but fruitful thought.

All at once, I am thrust into wholeness by your
merciless measures, wholeness cannibalized
as you lick your lips hungrily at the decimation
of my being. As tears fill my eyes, you relentlessly
dig flesh from my bones, I scream in tormented hell,
Although people hear me, they refuse to see that
my shredded hope is worthy of comfort,
I’m not sure which torture is the worse
to bear.

And so I build, I built the borders of my being
strong, impenetrably so, neither cannon, nor
man, nor arrow, nor spiritual whim can pierce
my strong-willed fortress, protecting my
splintered self, but it does not dull the senses;
feeling is magnified, as I am cognizant of every
reverberation, every ripple in the sea of human
consciousness and experience;
My lips force down bile, courageously,
as I walk alone, gently smiling at birds as they
sing: tra la la

© Kat Manica


Animation by cintascotch

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